Spring Break
by meemzter
Summary: Beck and Jade go on vacation with Beck's family.  Bade.  Humor/Fluff/Romance.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first attempt at a chaptered story. Not sure exactly where this story is headed but hopefully it will be funny and fluffy and maybe just a tad angsty. I'll try to update often! Feedback is appreciated :)**

For spring break that year, Beck had invited Jade to come with his family and visit has aunt, who lived in Colorado. Jade's parents were both going to be away on business during the break, and most of Beck's family was going to be congregating on this trip, so he figured she'd like to come, and that having a girlfriend around would be a pleasant distraction for him when the family became too overwhelming. It was win-win. Although Jade had half-heartedly protested when he told her _where_ the trip was going to take place ("_Colorado? As in mountains and rivers and bears, oh my?" _) and that it was kind of serving as a mini family reunion (_"Beck, I am your girlfriend. Not your wife. Aren't I supposed to be able to avoid the mundane, painful family gatherings?_) she'd eventually caved when he pointed out that otherwise she'd be spending spring break at home, alone.

Now however, standing in the airport, watching helplessly as Beck's mother argued with the gate attendant, Beck knew Jade was regretting coming, and he was almost regretting inviting her.

"This is completely ridiculous." Jade hissed, for about the tenth time in two minutes. The four of them, Jade, Beck, and his parents had just missed their connecting flight into Denver, and they were now apparently stuck in Phoenix for the next 16 hours. Beck had his eyes glued on his mom, who appeared to be losing what ever argument she was having with the gate attendant, _Jan_. She'd been somewhat _unhelpful_ so far, and had insisted that their only option was to spend the night in Phoenix and fly to Colorado tomorrow. Beck's parents had not been pleased.

That was why his mother was still standing at the gate, talking expressively with her hands, and why his father was pacing a few yards to the left, on his phone, looking more and more frustrated.

Beck sighed, glancing from his angry girlfriend to his angry mom to his angry dad. "I'm going to the bathroom." he muttered. Jade grunted in response. Beck took his time, washing his hands for a solid 3 minutes in an attempt to avoid having to back out there, where his fun-family-vacation had already deteriorated into complete and utter disaster. When he finally did emerge, his mother was turning away from the gate and his father was off the phone, and they were all walking back towards Jade, who was guarding the luggage.

"Well?" Jade snapped, when Beck's mom was within talking range.

"There's nothing she can do." She replied exasperatedly. Every other flight is booked solid, they can't possibly fit us in until tomorrow."

"What?" Jade roared, somehow turning 'what' into a two syllable word.

"Airline said the same thing," Beck's dad interjected, "they offered to compensate us with some travel vouchers, but that won't help us tonight."

Beck watched Jade carefully, and he was reminded of one of those cartoons, where you can see the character literally filling up with rage, the red rising like liquid in their bodies, totally overtaking them, building like pressure in a baloon.

He decided to intervene before she popped.

"So they're getting us a hotel, right?" Beck did his best to sound optimistic, like staying in a hotel in Phoenix was exactly what he wanted to do.

Beck's mom nodded tiredly, "They set us up at the Marriott, it's just outside the airport."

"Sweet, let's go there now." Beck pointed behind him with his thumbs, turning in one swift movement, and started walking back towards security. He hoped that if he just led the way, the rest would follow, but after about 10 feet he turned around to see that his parents hadn't moved.

Jade, however, had.

"Who do you people think you are?"

Jade was yelling at the gate attendant, who had paled a little, and whose eyes were wide with shock.

"You can't just make us miss our flight because YOUR plane was running late and then not wait for us even though we paid for our tickets…"

"She didn't pay for her ticket." Beck's dad casually commented. Luckily for him, Beck noted, he was standing too far away for Jade to hear.

Jade was still raging, and Beck's parents were both standing about 40 feet away from her, just sort of staring, helplessly. Beck rolled his eyes and placed a hand on his forehead as he marched up to retrieve his girlfriend.

"…it's not our fault, JAN, that you hate your job or that you never bothered to obtain a profession that doesn't require you to wear that HIDEOUS…"

Beck contemplated trying to calm Jade down with words, but he was almost positive that it would be ineffective, or at least, it would work too slowly to stop Jade from getting them thrown permanently out of the airport. So he just grabbed her arm and started dragging.

"Hey." Jade snapped, her attention off of Jan for the moment, and all of her fury aimed towards Beck.

"She's sorry." Beck said quickly to Jan, continuing to pull Jade away.

"What are you doing?" she turned back towards Jan, "I'm am NOT sorry!" and then back towards Beck, "Hey!…let go!…Beck!…come on!"

They had attracted quite a lot of attention by the time Beck was pushing Jade back through security, his parents trailing behind.

"I won't forget this!" Jade yelled back towards Jan, and Beck was finally able to let go of her now that she couldn't go bounding back through security. There were still a lot of people staring at them, and Beck's parents looked slightly shellshocked. "Well…" Beck started. "How 'bout that hotel room?"

"This is ridiculous." Jade muttered.

"Yeah, I think you have made it well known to the _entire airport_ that you think this is ridiculous!" Beck snapped back, and Jade looked surprised, though not bothered by his annoyance.

"What's with _you_?" she asked.

Beck gave her a disbelieving look, because that was a _really_ stupid question, but then just shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You. Hotel. Now." Jade shrugged, her casual calm a stark contrast to the hysterical fury of a few minutes ago. Beck's parents were just staring at them from a few feet away, and Beck realized that he'd probably given them far more insight into his dysfunctional relationship than they'd ever wanted.

"Mom? Dad?" Beck said, waiting for them to do something. At his voice they jumped, looking startled.

"Right." Beck's mom said.

"Marriot." Beck's dad responded.

"Let's go."

"Yup."

And with that they headed off towards their hotel for the evening, with the only repercussions of Jade's freak-out (besides the obvious embarrassment) turning out to be that a pissed-off Jan had called the airline and made sure that they didn't get their ticket vouchers after all. Beck figured it wasn't that big of a deal considering that at this rate, his family was probably never going to travel again.


	2. Chapter 2

The tram-ride to the hotel turned out to be longer and more uncomfortable than any of them had been anticipating, so that by the time they arrived at the Marriott, all four of them had settled into an irritable silence. The airline had set them up with two small rooms, each containing a queen-sized bed. Beck's mother had been displeased at the idea of Beck and Jade sharing a bed, but then Beck had suggested that _she _couldsleep with Jade if that made her more comfortable…

She decided it was best if she slept with her husband.

They were settling into their room now. Jade had retreated into the bathroom immediately upon their arrival, and Beck was fiddling with his suitcase, trying to decide whether it would be worth it to change out of the clothes he was wearing.

After almost 45 minutes, Jade finally emerged from the bathroom looking freshly showered and Beck had changed into a tee-shirt and shorts. He was absent-mindedly flicking through the channels, (there was _nothing_ on), when Jade flopped down onto the bed beside him and grabbed the remote, turning the TV off in one swift click.

"Hey," Beck protested weakly, "I was watching that. Sort of."

"I hate it when people channel surf." Jade said, examining her finger nails, "if you are going to watch TV, watch TV."

"I can't," Beck companied, "you have the remote."

"This sucks." Jade said, ignoring him. "Phoenix, Arizona. What a joke."

Beck crossed his arms, missing the mindless task of channel changing. This _did _suck, and he preferred not to think about it. "Can I have the remote?" he groaned, "…or a crossword puzzle? …or _something_?"

"I don't have a crossword puzzle. We should file a complaint."

"Remote? Please? and I don't think the hotel is obligated to provide us with a crossword puzzle. That would be kinda cool though…" Beck trailed off, picturing a hotel room with a gideon bible, a pillow mint, and a crossword puzzle. It was a nice picture.

"To the airline. A complaint to the airline. This whole thing is-"

"If you say ridiculous one more time…" Beck interrupted.

Jade smiled at him mischievously, "-outrageous" she finished smugly.

"Babe? Remote? Seriously?" Beck wasn't sure when he'd become such a TV junkie, but he was totally exhausted, and the thought of doing anything else was seriously unappealing.

Jade looked like she was about to argue, but at that moment her phone rang. She rolled her eyes and tossed the remote to Beck with a smirk, hopping off the bed to retrieve her phone from her bag.

Beck grinned as he turned on the TV, not really paying attention to the conversation Jade was having. He _did_ notice, however, that it ended rather abruptly.

"Who was that?" he asked, when she slid back onto the bed, her mood visibly worse than it was 5 minutes ago. If that was even possible.

"My _father_." Jade said with disdain.

Her father. That explained it. "Was he checking in?" Beck asked. That seemed very unlike him. Beck had only met Jade's dad a couple of times, but even then it had been obvious that things between Jade and her father were…_prickly._

Jade let out a humorless laugh. "As if." Beck turned his head to look at her, and she met his gaze. "It was a wrong number." She smiled at him cynically, and for some reason that disillusioned smile made Beck crazy. Like he wanted to hold her and shield her and never let her leave his sight. Beck hated Jade's father at that moment. He hated him a lot.

Jade however, was oblivious to the whirlwind of emotions going on inside Beck, and just continued talking as if she didn't care that her father was a jerk. "If he wasn't so technologically incapable, he wouldn't keep accidentally dialing me. It happens at least a couple times a month." She paused, sliding down further on the bed, letting her head rest against the pillow. "I don't know why he even has my number. He's never actually called me on purpose." Then she let out another humorless laugh, and again, without knowing it, she totally broke Beck's heart. This time however, he couldn't resist reaching across to her, pulling her closer, wrapping her clean, damp body in his arms. Jade nestled into him a little bit, glancing up at the television. "_This_ is what you finally settled on? Are you determined to make this the worst day of my life?"

Beck hadn't even noticed that he'd stopped flicking through the channels, and when he looked up at the TV he was surprised to find a rerun of 'Teletubbies' flashing across the screen. It was probably a testament to his tiredness that he just burst out laughing.

"Beck. It's not funny. It's torture. Change the channel." Jade griped.

But the longer Beck stared at the colorful creatures singing and dancing and doing a lot of things that seemed to simulate a drug experience for the viewer, the harder he laughed, and before he knew it, Jade was laughing along too.

"What _is_ this?" she moaned, "God, I can't believe any parent would subject their children to this."

"What kind of a name is Binky-Winky?" Beck gasped out, still completely hysterical.

"It's better than Dipsy." Jade huffed out in response.

They continued their critical commentary, and Beck never stopped laughing, until finally the episode ended. Jade wrestled the remote away from Beck when the TV announced that another episode of Teletubbies was coming on next, clicking it off. "No. More."

Beck caught sight of the clock by the bedside table, and had to agree with her. They had to be up early in the morning.

"Fine." he conceded. "We should go to bed anyway."

Jade nodded. "But if I have nightmares about teletubbies, I will seriously make you pay in the morning."

Beck chuckled, kissing her on the cheek before flicking off the lamp above the bed. He was still wide awake though, laughter and endorphins will do that to a person, and his mind was running back over the events of the day.

"Jade," he said, after a few moments, pretty sure that she was still awake.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry this trip sucks." and I'm sorry your dad sucks, he wanted to add, but didn't.

"It really does." Jade replied matter-of-factly. But she nestled closer to him underneath the sheets.

"Tomorrow will suck less." Beck said, hoping-to-god that he was right.

"Pffft. Fat chance. Colorado? Family stuff? It's a recipe for prime suckage."

Beck rolled his eyes. "Then why are you here?" He knew why, of course. He just liked to make her admit that she actually _liked_ him every once in a while.

"Mmmm, I just felt sorry for you."

That actually surprised Beck. "Huh?"

"Well, as much as this trip was bound to suck, even without the Phoenix detour, imagine how much more it would suck without me. So, I decided to take pity on you, and accompany you on this vacation from hell."

"Oh please!" Beck grinned, disbelieving. "Admit you wanted to come."

"No." Jade replied crisply.

"Come on," Beck moved his fingers slowly across her stomach, and then he tickled her briefly. She squealed in response. "I did not want to come!"

"Liar." Beck teased, tickling her some more, her responses a mixture of squeals and protests until finally she whispered, "Fine!"

"Hmmmm?" Beck asked, his cheeks actually sore from smiling so much the last hour.

"Fine I wanted to come, goodnight." Jade rattled off the words so fast they almost blended together. She scooted a little deeper under the covers, slamming her head down onto the pillow with finality.

Beck let out a contented sigh, and realized that considering how much this vacation sucked, he was feeling incredibly happy. He fell asleep with Jade in his arms and a smile on his lips.

**to be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Apologies-nothing really happens in this chapter-hopefully chapter 4 will be more eventful. :P**

By 5:00 the next morning, the four of them were sitting, bleary-eyed on the tram back to the airport. Beck was not a morning person, and he was sure that he looked practically comatose. Jade was even _less_ of a morning person, and had actually passed out on Beck's shoulder 3 minutes into the tram ride. She was snoring, _loudly_.

By the time they got off the tram, checked in (again), made it through security (Jade, even standing in line, still trying to sleep on Beck's shoulder) and found their new gate, it was 6:30. Luckily, it was a different gate in a different terminal than the one they'd been at the previous day, so it looked like an encounter with Jan was unlikely.

Jade declined all offers of coffee, which made Beck's jaw drop to the floor, and seemed content to stay in her sleepy-morning haze, passing out again in the gate waiting area. At 7:00, the plane began boarding and Beck nudged her awake.

"What?" she snapped, her voice thick with sleep. She was wearing the same clothes she'd been wearing yesterday (most of her clothes were in the bags they checked), and she looked slightly rumpled. Compared to the normal Jade-fearsome, intimidating, flawlessly put together-she looked kind of harmless and…_adorable._

"Time to get up." Beck teased, using his most obnoxious 'talking-to-babies' voice.

"What for?" Jade whined.

Beck grabbed her hands and pulled her up gently. "Plane." he said into her ear, pulling her close to him.

"Oh, yeah." she grunted, letting her head fall, once again, onto Beck's shoulder.

Beck laughed. "You realize our seats aren't next to each other." he said. "You are going to have to wake up on the plane, or at least _not_ snuggle all over whoever you're sitting next to. No more shoulders as pillows."

"They'll get over it." Jade responded, daring him to disagree.

Beck smiled when he realized that Jade probably would use a complete stranger as a pillow if it would make her more comfortable, and that they probably _would_ get over it.

The plane ride was short and uneventful. Beck's parents were seated a few rows behind him and Jade was seated a few rows in front. He couldn't see her, but about 10 minutes into the flight, he heard the familiar sound of her snoring, and figured she'd decided to sleep on a stranger after all.

*.*.*.*

By the time they were exiting the airport in Colorado, everyone was finally awake and spirits were actually high. They'd retrieved their luggage without issue, Beck's uncle, Jordan, was on the way to pick them up, and the Colorado air, even Jade had to admit, felt amazing.

"It's not hot." she'd commented when they stepped outside.

"Yeah, it's nice." Beck agreed.

"It's the elevation," Beck's dad chimed in, "we're way above sea level. Not to mention in the mountains. It's almost always nice and cool here."

Jade nodded, surveying her surroundings and then shrugged. "It kind of doesn't suck."

Beck laughed, knowing that from Jade that was a very high compliment, and wrapped a hand around her waist, tugging her into a side-hug.

After a short wait, Jordan, Beck's mother's brother, was pulling up in massive, black pick up truck, waving at them excitedly.

Jordan was short, with skin paler than Beck's and hair lighter, and shorter. He was wearing jeans and a rugged old tee-shirt, and looking pretty much exactly the way Beck remembered him.

"Anna." he said, smiling, walking up to Beck's mom, and embracing her in a hug.

"Hi Jordan," she replied. Beck's dad and Jordan exchanged a shoulder clap and then Beck reached out to shake Jordan's hand. "Hey Jordan, how's it going, man?"

"God, Beck, you've gotten old!" Jordan shook his head in disbelief. "and this must be your…"

"His girlfriend." Jade finished for him. "Nice truck, by the way, it's going to be so fun crawling into the backseat of that heap. Now can we go? I've spent enough time in airports the last two days, no need to prolong the experience." and with that, Jade chucked her suitcase into the bed of the pickup and opened the door to climb into the truck.

Jordan looked at Beck, wide-eyed, and Beck just sighed. "She's sorry." he said half-heartedly, throwing his luggage in the back and climbing in after her.

Beck's parents talked to Jordan for a few moments before climbing into the truck themselves. Beck had a feeling they were saying something about Jade, and he was curious as to what. Beck's parents had never kept it a secret that they weren't especially fond of his girlfriend, but they respected his decisions enough to accept her place in his life. He wondered what they were telling Jordan now. _Oh don't mind her, she's always like that…_or…_Isn't it outrageous? We're just dying for them to break up…_or maybe, he thought more optimistically..._It's been a really long 24 hours for all of us. She's just tired_. Or maybe they weren't talking about Jade at all. Regardless, they said what they said and then Beck's dad crammed into the backseat with them while Beck's mom took the front.

The car ride was awkward. Just because a backseat has three seat belts does not mean it is actually designed for three people. Jade and Beck and his dad were smushed together, practically on top of one another, neither one eager to chat in the uncomfortable position they were in. Jade, who had been unable to bring her scissors on board the plane, was ripping up her social security card into shreds, having already done the same to her plane ticket, a receipt, and her baggage claim ticket.

"Uh, babe, don't you need that?" Beck asked, speaking for the first time since the car ride began.

Jade just shrugged. "They can send me another one."

Beck assumed that she found ripping things into shreds therapeutic, and decided it was better than her taking out her feelings on his relatives.

They were driving to Jordan's house, which he shared with Beck's grandparents. Beck had only been there a few times before, but he remembered it being spacious, cozy, and very cabin-like. Waiting for them at the house were both of Beck's aunts on his mother's side: Tina and Lisa. Tina and her family had driven in from Chicago, while Lisa and her family had flown up from Mexico. No matter how spacious or cozy the house was, Beck though, it was definitely going to be crowded.

By the time they arrived, Beck's legs were numb from being sat on by his dad, and his arms were exhausted from trying not to lean too much of his upper body weight onto his dad's shoulder. Needless to say, they were glad to escape the truck.

"Everyone's inside," Jordan said cheerily, "Mom and Dad are going to be so excited to see you, Beck."

"Yeah, me too." Beck responded, doing an awkward dance as he tried to get the feeling back into his legs.

Jade was standing in front of the car, surveying the house with scrutiny. "Nice cabin." she remarked, hands on her hips, "it really gives off that nice, mountain-man vibe."

Jordan smiled at her warily, and Beck suspected that he didn't know whether she was giving a compliment or an insult. With Jade, it was sometimes hard to tell. Without further delay, they retrieved their luggage from the trunk and headed into the house, Beck and Jade trailing behind his parents and his uncle.

**to be continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. Things got busy. I feel like this chapter kind of got away from me...but hopefully it turned out ok. Feedback is welcomed and appreciated. :)**

Within the first 5 minutes inside his grandparents house, Beck was sure that some sort of evil pagan deity had placed a curse on him. Either that, or he had shattered a whole bunch of mirrors without realizing it. There was no way that this trip was going so badly just by chance.

Beck was going to be crashing on a cot in his uncle Jordan's room, and he was totally ok with that, but Jade, Jade was going to be sharing a room, and a bed with two of Beck's younger cousins: Jamie and Liz.

Beck almost protested on behalf of Jade. Jamie and Liz were 7 and 9, they were adorable, but also a little bit evil, totally off-the-wall-ADHD-hyper, and they both owned an awful lot of pink. They were, to say the least, _not_ Jade compatible.

Yes, Beck _almost_ protested on her behalf, but she, of course, beat him to the punch.

"You want me to share a bed with that?" she'd asked Jordan, who had just introduced the girls to Jade. They were standing in the foyer, if it could be called that-it was more just a square box of a room with doorways leading out to other parts of the house. There was also a treacherous looking wooden staircase, leading up to an open-balcony. Beck knew he had been to the house before, but he had little recollection of it, and he was taking it in as if for the first time.

Jamie and Liz, and their mother, Beck's aunt Tina had greeted them in the foyer, and now, he was certain they were regretting it.

"Excuse me?" Tina asked. Her features were curious, and her lips portrayed the hint of a smile, as if she were missing the punchline of a joke. However, under her mask of friendly curiosity, Beck knew she was pissed. He'd sat through enough holiday dinners to know that Tina had a temper, and was a force to be reckoned with. Not unlike Jade, he realized with a smirk.

"I am not sleeping with your little munchkin children. I want my own bed." Jade crossed her arms and lifted her eyebrows in defiance.

Beck stepped closer to Jade, standing slightly in front of her, trying to form some sort of barrier between his girlfriend and his aunt. "Isn't there anywhere else she could sleep?" he asked, trying to sound diplomatic. "She doesn't sleep well with others."

Jade coughed, and Beck actually felt himself blushing. He hoped no one else noticed.

At Beck's question Jordan shrugged, "No. Not really. Sorry, that's the best we can do, unless she wants to sleep on the floor."

"And what makes you think that you are too good to sleep with my baby girls?" Tina asked, putting a hand on one hip, taking a step towards Jade.

"Nothing." Beck answered, cutting Jade off. "Nothing at all." He turned his gaze toward Jade and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Right, Jade?"

"Excuse me?" she said, looking amused.

Beck's parents finally spoke up, after standing silently, probably, Beck guessed, in shock. They'd been around Jade before, but never when she was this grumpy. She really was in rare form. "Um, why don't we put our things in our rooms?" Beck's dad said, heading through the door on the right. "Anna, I've got this, why don't you and Tina catch up in the kitchen?"

"Great idea," Beck's mom responded with faux enthusiasm, dragging her sister through the door straight ahead. The two little "munchkin children" followed behind. They were left with Jordan who directed them towards their rooms and followed his sisters into the kitchen. Jade, once again, started to protest her sleeping accommodations, but Beck rolled his eyes and grabbed Jade's arm, cutting her off.

"Come on." he said, and pulled her through the door on the left.

They found Jordan's room quickly and Beck dropped his stuff on the floor.

"Maybe I should sleep on the cot," Jade said casually, "you can have the twins."

"Jade," Beck said softly, reaching out to touch her hair. She softened slightly at his touch, but still looked pretty annoyed. "What?" she replied cooly. "You know I love you right?" he continued, and now her annoyance melted away, replaced with a surprised smile.

"Yes." she said, her eyes questioning.

Beck slipped his other arm around her neck, so that their heads were resting close together. "And you know I'd do anything for you right?"

"Uhuh…" she practically cooed, and Beck knew this was the best mood she'd been in the entire trip.

"And you'd do anything for me, right?"

At the question, Jade tensed before laughing. "Pffft, nice try Beck."

"Jade. You're sleeping with the munchkins." he said firmly, then realized that he had, without knowing it, adopted her term for Jamie and Liz.

"Or what?"

"Or my entire family is going to hate you!"

"Their loss." she said with a shrug.

"Jade."

"What."

"Please sleep with the munchkins?"

"Why should I?" there was a slight twinkle in Jade's eyes when she said that, and Beck knew that she was going to cave. She would sleep with Jamie and Liz, and then she would complain about it for the next four years. But he could live with that.

"Because there's no where else for you to sleep." Beck responded logically.

"Hmmm…try again." Jade teased.

"Because, you secretly love kids, and are dying to spend more time with them?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Oh, I know."

"Hmmm?"

"Because you love me."

Jade smirked at him, in a sort of self-mocking way. Most people would never think it when they looked at her, but Jade was really a total sap. "OK. That's a pretty good reason I guess."

They made out on Jordan's bed for a while, and then they dropped off Jade's stuff in the room she was sharing with the girls.

"So now what?" Jade asked.

Beck sighed, scratching the back of his head. "We should probably go say hello to the rest of my family."

**to be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been taking me so long to update-busy, busy. Hope you guys enjoy the next chapter, I'll try to update soon. :)**

Beck's grandfather, who preferred to be addressed as "Captain Joe," was not so much senile as purposefully ignorant. A while ago, sometime before Beck was born, he had lost interest in the world, or at least in keeping up appearances in the world, and had regressed into an happier, more laid-back, if somewhat ruder person. During the entire time that Beck had known him, he had shown only a casual notice of the boy, asking questions here and there, but for the most part, their lives remained utterly unentangled. Beck's grandmother, who went by Daadi, was the perfect compliment to her husband's negligence. She kept up with all the details of Beck's life with a fiery enthusiasm, despite the distance, and he suspected she did the same with all her grandchildren.

Therefore it was not surprising at all to Beck when Captain Joe blurted out,

"Beck has a girlfriend?"

"Well, of course he has a girlfriend." Daadi admonished.

"You have a girlfriend?" he croaked, looking at Beck.

"He has a girlfriend." Jade answered for him.

"Well, why would he have a girlfriend? I just don't understand."

"I'm also falling into the not understanding category right now." Beck said.

Daadi just looked at her husband exasperatedly, "He has a girlfriend!"

"But I thought…" Captain Joe trailed off, looking thoughtfully at Beck. He stared for a few seconds before continuing, "aren't you one of those drama boys?"

"Oh." Beck said, understanding his grandfather's assumption, and fighting the urge to smack his forehead with his palm.

Jade snorted.

"Oh hush up Joey," Daadi interjected, saving everyone from the increasingly awkward conversation. "Now Beck, tell us all about it."

Beck raised his eyebrows, questioningly. "About what?"

"Your life, of course!" she said, a contagious smile cracking across her wrinkled face.

She settled deeper into her chair, pulling it slightly closer to the kitchen table they were all seated around. Captain Joe was currently standing up, assumedly heading towards the living room, his habitat. In the empty seat, Jordan slid in, taking his seat across from Beck and Jade.

Beck opened his mouth, trying to think of something quick and easy to say that would sum up 'his life,' when Jade got up from the table as well. "Going somewhere?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I already know this stuff. I don't need to be regaled with the details of your daily life. Been there. Done that. Got the tee-shirt."

"So you're going…"

"to hang out with Grandpa Joe," she finished casually, as if hanging out with Beck's grandparents was a totally normal activity.

"Captain Joe," everyone else in the room corrected, more from habit than anything else.

Jade raised her hands in defense, "Ay, ay." she muttered sarcastically, side-stepping her way out of the room.

Beck's family all looked at him for some sort of reaction. He was sure they were expecting him to be offended or confused or annoyed by Jade's flippant disregard, but he wasn't, and he certainly wasn't going to let them think he was. Beck loved Jade's honesty. He loved the fact that if she was bored with a conversation, she ended it. If she was tired, she slept. If she was angry she yelled. OK, and sometimes when she was sad or confused or lonely she yelled too, but that was also honesty, in a way. Jade was never passive. She never let things happen. She was a force, a law of nature in her own right. Always pushing, always moving, always changing. Never dull, never boring. She kept him guessing…that was for certain.

Beck chatted with Daadi for a while, and after a few minutes Tina wandered in, and he was able to just catch up with his aunt and uncle. Eventually his parents came in, and when he was convinced that the conversation had ventured into a territory (taxes, the economy, gas prices) where his input would not be missed, he snuck out into the living room, hunting for his girlfriend.

When he found her, it was with Captain Joe slumped, asleep, snoring on her shoulder.

Beck stood staring, mouth agape.

"Hey, would you move? You're blocking the TV. Fear Factor's on."

Beck turned, backing up to stand next to the couch that his grandfather and girlfriend were…he hesitated to even think it…_cuddled up_ on.

"I thought Fear Factor was off the air." he remarked, still slightly in shock.

"Reruns." she said, with a yawn.

"Jade?" Beck ventured.

"Hmmmm?" She sounded sleepy, and Beck was afraid that any minute she was going to return the favor and fall asleep on Captain Joe's shoulder.

"Why is my grandfather sleeping on you?"

Jade slouched her head in Captain Joe's direction before turning it back to the TV. "I don't know. He's old. Old people get tired."

"Yeah," Beck said, a humorless laugh escaping his lips, "but why is he asleep on _you_?"

"Oh." Jade nodded, like she'd just now gotten the connection, "we bonded." she explained.

"You bonded."

"We bonded."

"Jade?"

"Hmmm?"

"You don't bond. With people."

"I do so!" she said, sounding genuinely offended.

"Like who?" Beck demanded.

"Like your grandfather." she replied smartly.

Beck sighed and sat down on the arm of the couch. "Whatever." He decided to give up on trying to figure this one out. _She always kept him guessing_.

"So…" he asked, after watching a girl vomit up pig liver, "what did you bond about?"

"Oh," Jade said, chuckling, (Beck couldn't be sure whether she was chuckling about the vomit or his question), "he thinks I'm your beard."

"He what?" It was a testament to Captain Joe's sleeping abilities that he didn't wake up at the rising sound of Beck's voice.

"Yeah," Jade continued, clearly entertained, "it's when you pretend to date someone so they don't know you're gay."

"I know what it is."

"He really wishes you would come out of the closet. He think's you'd be a lot happier."

"He doesn't care about my happiness!" Beck said, struck by the absurdity of the idea, "and he doesn't even know me. Why does he think I'm gay?"

Jade shrugged. "You _are_ one of those drama kids."

Beck put his face in his hands. "Please, tell me you did not let him continue to believe that you're my beard."

Jade was silent.

"Jade!"

"I might have…_kind of_…told him that I was. Yeah."

"Jade!"

"What? It's hilarious! The guy actually thinks that you'd bring a fake girlfriend home to your lame Colorado family members. How is that not funny?"

Beck pinched the bridge of his nose. "What else did you talk about?" he asked, suddenly worried.

"Awww, nothing, just life."

"Life." Beck repeated.

"Yeah, Captain Joe's a pretty cool dude. Although, did you know, he was never actually a captain?"

Beck rolled his eyes and slumped off the arm of the couch onto the floor, resting his head against Jade's knees.

"Jade?"

"Hmmm?"

"Shut-up."

**to be continued...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, sorry, sorry for the long delay! Life has been SO crazy. I promise to update again really soon, this chapter is just a tiny little scene to tide you over.  
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By the time Jordan was coming to get them for dinner, Beck was starting to believe that maybe the worst was over. The rest of the afternoon had gone by pleasantly, and utterly drama free. Lisa had dropped in to say hello to the two of them, and unlike with Tina, sparks did not fly. Captain Joe had remained asleep on Jade's shoulder for almost an hour, but afterwards had wandered off to his bedroom, muttering that he had "things to do." Jamie and Liz had wandered in to watch TV at one point, but Jade had actually ignored them instead of berating them, which Beck saw as major progress.

Now, they were all seated around the dinner table: Daadi and Captain Joe, Jordan, Tina with Jamie and Liz, Lisa, her husband Troy, and their son, Max, Beck's parents, Beck, and Jade.

It was crowded, to say the least.

As often happens with so many people sitting around a table, the conversation was continuous and chaotic and consisting of multiple people talking at once, their comments overlapping and overwhelming one anthers. Beck answered the occasional question directed at him, but for the most part was content just to watch his family. Every now and then there would be a slight lull in the conversation, and usually Captain Joe would say something uncouth, and the scolds from the rest of the family would jumpstart the conversation.

This time, however, when there was a lull, Captain Joe had lost interest in the dinner, it seemed, and was staring off into his own world.

It was then that Lisa casually said, "So, Jade, tell me about yourself."

Jade looked surprised at the question. She'd barely spoken all evening, and had seemed quite content with that. "Uh," she started eloquently, "I'm an actress. I go to an arts school called Hollywood Arts. I'm also a writer, a singer." She paused a grinned, "I'm really talented."

Lisa nodded, smiling slightly, "and how long have-"

"2 and half years." Jade cut in, before Lisa could even finish her question. "We've been dating for 2 and half years." Beck rolled his eyes, but smiled, despite himself. Across the table Captain Joe snorted.

"2 and half years?" Tina asked, looking alarmed. She glanced back and forth between the two of them.

"Does that surprise you?" Beck asked.

Tina took in a deep breath, clearly pondering her answer, "No," she finally decided on, "not at all." Her voice was laced with fake kindness.

Jade glared across the table at Tina. "Good." Then she smiled, brightly.

Beck could practically taste the tension in the air.

"Don't worry Tina," Captain Joe announced to the table, "it won't last."

"Oh my God," Beck muttered to himself, sighing loudly and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Joe!" Daadi burst out, slapping her husband on the arm.

"What makes you say that, Dad?" Beck's mom asked, clearly looking amused.

"Just trust me on this." he said, with a wink in Jade's direction.

Jade just winked back.

"Thank you, Captain Joe, for your contribution to the conversation," Beck said exasperatedly, "Daadi, is there any dessert?"

"There is!" Jordan hopped up and dashed for the kitchen and a new awkward silence descended onto the group. Beck decided it was better than the talking.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here you go! This might be the last update for another week or so. Sorry, I'm super busy, but I'll do my best. :)**

Beck was actually quite concerned with how things were going to go that first night. He was brushing his teeth in Jordan's room, hoping that Jade wouldn't _actually_ hurt his younger cousins tonight. That could be awkward.

He decided he better check in on them before they went to bed and remind Jade that life-in-prison would not mesh well with her dreams of becoming a star. He was rinsing his mouth when Jordan slid into the bathroom, arms crossed, looking at Beck shyly. Beck could tell he wanted to say something, but didn't have the guts.

"What?" Beck asked, his mouth still partially full of toothpaste and spit.

"Hmm?" Jordan muttered awkwardly. "Oh, nothing, I mean, it's just…" he took a deep breath and finally said, "_she's_ interesting."

Beck looked around the room, confused. "Who?"

Jordan rolled his eyes, "You know who." He tilted his head. "Your girlfriend."

Beck nodded. "She has a name…"

"OK, fine," Jordan replied, "your girlfriend, Jade. She's interesting."

"I'm glad you think so…" Beck said, sarcastically, trying to escape the confines of the bathroom. He really didn't like where this conversation was headed. Beck wasn't a big fan of discussing his love life, especially not with his awkward, perpetually single uncle who he saw once a year.

"It's just…" Jordan blocked the doorway, forcing Beck to look at him. Beck saw nervousness, coupled with determination, and decided he liked where this conversation was headed even _less_.

"She's been kind of rude. To our family." Jordan raised his eyebrows in defiance. "It's not cool, man."

"Jade's barely spoken to anyone since we got here." Beck protested. _Except for Captain Joe_, he added silently.

"I'm just saying, she's been a little harsh, and I think she really upset your aunt Tina. Is she going to apologize?"

Beck actually laughed out loud at the idea. "Yeah, unlikely."

"How are you ok with that?" Jordan demanded. "Where are your priorities?"

Beck raised his hand, this whole thing had gotten way out of control. "Dude, my priorities are none of your business. And I think you might be blowing this a little out of proportion."

Jordan softened a little, and the determination in his stance sort of drained away. "I guess she kind of rubbed me the wrong way."

Beck smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, "Well, you're not the first one." With that, he left the bathroom, setting off to find Jade.

When he walked into the room that she was going to be sharing with his cousins, Beck wasn't sure whether to laugh or be disturbed by the sight. Jamie and Liz we're chasing each other around the bed, screaming and giggling frantically, while Jade sat in the corner of the room, wielding a pair of scissors. She looked ready to use them if the girls got to close. Beck crossed the room, narrowly avoiding a collision with the girls, and reached out his hand, pulling her up to stand next to him.

"Remind me again why I can't just sleep with you?" Jade whined.

"Because Daadi and Captain Joe are a little old-fashioned, and would be totally scandalized by the idea of us sharing a bed."

"Somehow I don't think Captain Joe would have a problem with it…" Jade teased.

Beck crossed his arms. "You realize you have permanently affected my relationship with my grandpa. He's going to spend the rest of his life thinking I'm in the closet. Even if I get married, he's just going to think, 'Oh there's another beard for Beck."

Jade shrugged, a grin creeping across her face. "Sorry." she said, in a tone that clearly displayed how _not_ sorry she was.

Beck pulled her out into the hallway, away from Jamie and Liz, and closed the door behind them. He kissed her and they lingered there for a while, lost in each other's mouths. When they did pull apart, Beck rested his forehead against hers.

"So," he asked, "how much do you hate this trip?"

Jade looked up towards the ceiling, thinking briefly before matter-of-factly stating: "Well, this house is lame, your family's boring and I'm pretty sure they _hate_ me, there's nothing to do, we're in the middle of nowhere, and I'm sharing a bed with two gross, obnoxious, _children_." She ran her tongue over the tops of her teeth briefly, then concluded, "yeah, this trip really sucks."

He laughed. "Sorry."

She grinned ever so slightly back at him, "Yeah, you should be." They kissed again, enjoying the flavors of their freshly toothpasted mouths.

"Now," Beck said, when they pulled apart, "you do realize that killing, maiming, or in any other way harming these girls is not allowed."

"Are you sure?" Jade asked, looking genuinely confused.

"I'm sure." Beck replied, lifting a finger and sticking it in her face. "If I wake up tomorrow and there are crying girls, it is not going to be good for anyone."

Jade rolled her eyes, "I'm not making any promises." But Beck knew she wouldn't _actually_ do anything. Probably. She slid back into the bedroom, closing the door behind her leaving Beck in the hallway, suddenly feeling more awake and energetic than he had all day. He grudgingly walked back to Jordan's room and flopped down on the cot. As he lay there, unable to fall asleep, he couldn't help thinking that even though the cot was tiny, it fell extraordinarily empty. It was hours before he finally fell asleep.


End file.
